Co-Parenting is Hard
Like, really, really hard. Even when things are good, even when you and your children’s other parent can work together without too many bumps, it’s really hard.
It’s missing your kids when they are gone, and maybe having some guilt for having fun without them.
It can be feeling bad for not spending time with your friends like you want, because you have your kids with you- and finding a sitter you trust can be super hard. And so you cram as much time with them as you can on the other parents time to make up for it.
It can be the frustration of clothes, hats, or toys being left at the other house-two hours away- and you being on the hook for replacing them because they are needed when your child is with you. Or your kids being sent home on things that are obviously too small/too worn/too wrong season, and you are obligated again to replace more clothing.
It can be different parenting styles becoming more pronounced, and you hearing and feeling like you aren’t doing a good enough job being a parent to your kids- despite still being the one to provide the overwhelming majority of the day to day care. But you’re still not doing it well enough. (Sarcasm- that last sentence is absolutely not true. But, MAN, I totally know how easy it is to few that way.)
It can be having to be the one to say no to things sent home without asking- because your house is not a dumping ground for all the unwanted things that the other parent no longer wants at their house. And then your child is upset with you for saying no- after all, they were already told they could have it.
The list goes on and on and on... because every co parenting situation is different, every day, every week, every year. Every situation gets handled, but it can wear you down so that you just don’t want to deal with them any more. But you do. You figure stuff out one thing at a time. You get through it.
And if your kids are lucky, you figure it out without putting them in the middle of it all, and they end up with parents who can choose to work together for them. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but hopefully some day.
It’s missing your kids when they are gone, and maybe having some guilt for having fun without them.
It can be feeling bad for not spending time with your friends like you want, because you have your kids with you- and finding a sitter you trust can be super hard. And so you cram as much time with them as you can on the other parents time to make up for it.
It can be the frustration of clothes, hats, or toys being left at the other house-two hours away- and you being on the hook for replacing them because they are needed when your child is with you. Or your kids being sent home on things that are obviously too small/too worn/too wrong season, and you are obligated again to replace more clothing.
It can be different parenting styles becoming more pronounced, and you hearing and feeling like you aren’t doing a good enough job being a parent to your kids- despite still being the one to provide the overwhelming majority of the day to day care. But you’re still not doing it well enough. (Sarcasm- that last sentence is absolutely not true. But, MAN, I totally know how easy it is to few that way.)
It can be having to be the one to say no to things sent home without asking- because your house is not a dumping ground for all the unwanted things that the other parent no longer wants at their house. And then your child is upset with you for saying no- after all, they were already told they could have it.
The list goes on and on and on... because every co parenting situation is different, every day, every week, every year. Every situation gets handled, but it can wear you down so that you just don’t want to deal with them any more. But you do. You figure stuff out one thing at a time. You get through it.
And if your kids are lucky, you figure it out without putting them in the middle of it all, and they end up with parents who can choose to work together for them. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but hopefully some day.
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