Even when it’s hard
Single parenting isn’t something I ever thought would be where my life went. Even on the hardest days, I never saw my kids as having moms house and dads house. Some days, the stress, the guilt, the loneliness, the feelings of not-enoughness that go along with this life are so overwhelming and hard. And some days, it seems like they will never go away.
Some days, though, are amazing. Those days, you see all the amazing things that have come your way since you stepped into this journey. You see that your kids do not feel as let down as they used to. You don’t feel as let down as you used to. You see that your interests and wants do matter. You see that your finances don’t have to be barely better than just getting by. (And if that is still where yours are, they will get better!) You learn that being alone is so much less lonely than being left alone when someone is supposed to be there. You find support, and friends and family who were always there, and new friends who walk with you. You learn all the new things that go along with this life you get to live.
Sometimes the hard days are really hard. You feel like you’ve let your kids down, and no matter how hard you try, you’re never going to be able to make up for splitting up the home they used to know. They tell you how they miss having their dad around, and all you can think is how you’re not enough and how he wasn’t really there for them anyway. You feel like you’ve failed.
There are days that are so. super. hard. But all the way down, where things really matter, I know that we are so much better than we would have been if things hadn’t changed. I’ve learned that I’m so much stronger than I thought, and how loving them is the answer and the reason.
Even when it’s hard.
Some days, though, are amazing. Those days, you see all the amazing things that have come your way since you stepped into this journey. You see that your kids do not feel as let down as they used to. You don’t feel as let down as you used to. You see that your interests and wants do matter. You see that your finances don’t have to be barely better than just getting by. (And if that is still where yours are, they will get better!) You learn that being alone is so much less lonely than being left alone when someone is supposed to be there. You find support, and friends and family who were always there, and new friends who walk with you. You learn all the new things that go along with this life you get to live.
Sometimes the hard days are really hard. You feel like you’ve let your kids down, and no matter how hard you try, you’re never going to be able to make up for splitting up the home they used to know. They tell you how they miss having their dad around, and all you can think is how you’re not enough and how he wasn’t really there for them anyway. You feel like you’ve failed.
There are days that are so. super. hard. But all the way down, where things really matter, I know that we are so much better than we would have been if things hadn’t changed. I’ve learned that I’m so much stronger than I thought, and how loving them is the answer and the reason.
Even when it’s hard.
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